Pokémon’s character customization lets me live like the girl I want to be — and I’m not the only one

When I was a kid, years before I understood the word “queer,” I wanted nothing more badly than to be the Pokémon character May. Emphasis on the be. I didn’t just want to look like her — I wanted to sound like her, to perform like her, to live in that perfect Pokémon world the way she did. I’d lay awake at night, writing fanfiction in my head about May and her banal everyday life. I’d replay the games over and over, always picking the girl character, and almost always naming her May.

As the generations progressed, my dream outgrew May. Now, I’d settle for becoming any girl in the Pokémon universe. After all, I couldn’t think of a single woman in the entire franchise that wasn’t beautiful. Especially compared to me, a heavyset boy with unruly curls who looked more like Flint than any woman. Femininity and Pokémon were inextricably linked in my mind.

Then came 2013’s Pokémon X/Y, the game that brought me closer to my dream than ever before.

Pokémon’s trainer customization has turned the game into a gender simulator

In an interview with GamesRadar, former series director Junichi Masuda explained that in the franchise’s early days, the developers wanted to avoid having the player-character “stand out” too much. But starting with X/Y, that philosophy changed: “We really wanted the player to play that trainer as [him/herself], that they could express themselves through the player. That’s why we added a lot of elements like being able to change your appearance and things like that.”

X/Y’s dress-up options, a first for the series, finally gave me the opportunity to put myself in the Pokémon world and look exactly like the girl I’d always wanted to be. I didn’t have to worry about what my body looked like in real life; in Kalos, I could freely flirt with feminine fashion, no strings attached. I found myself experimenting with styles I never could have dreamed of in reality. Everything looked amazing.

When Pokémon Sun & Moon took the idea a step further by letting me take off the character’s hat (gasp) and change hairstyles, that hooked me for good.