10 years in, Stardew Valley's binary approach to gender still gets a failing grade

Stardew Valley came out in February 2016 and my farmer made her move to Pelican Town not long after. That time was an age of naivete for me, when I didn't dare look at any game with a critical eye as a casual player. I didn't flinch at the binary gender selections in Stardew Valley's character creation screen. I also took for granted that, regardless of my player-character’s gender, I could romance and marry any dateable non-player character in the game, girl or boy.

Being new to games, even cozy ones, I failed to appreciate just how revolutionary the latter was at the time. A (mostly) all-ages game where two men can marry and adopt children, or a woman farmer can romance a quirky waitress or the town's resident mean girl? It seemed par for the course then. The real world was catching up to that reality fast, right? Why wouldn't it be so in a cozy video game, too?

Fast forward to today, and the queer inclusivity in Stardew Valley feels refreshingly matter-of-fact. It is an indelible part of its world. Same-sex couples are treated the same as heterosexual couples, and the dialogue and the story beats adapt accordingly. The choice of relationship has no influence on the game mechanics or progression; straight or queer, it's there for flavor, for roleplaying, and for the cozy vibes. 

References to bigotry and homophobia, while there, are almost gentle: an NPC may have a line about not understanding such relationships, but then grow to accept them as they get to know the couple better.

With such an approach to non-heteronormative romance options, it is all the more jarring how Stardew Valley treats sex and gender. It's right there in the beginning, in the form of a button denoted with the planetary symbols for Mars and Venus, a necessary step in character creation.