Learning to love myself despite playing Wii Fit as a kid

[Content warning: This essay discusses body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and internalized homophobia.]

Act 1

Wii Fit 
NA Release Date: May 21, 2008
Age: 9

When Wii Fit was unleashed into the world, I was a human checklist for all the things bullies like to focus on when getting in their daily reps. I was chubby, loud, had a lisp, and was way, way too into all things Sonic the Hedgehog. I gained thick skin during this era of my life, developing coping mechanisms that would last me a lifetime, like using humor to decorate hard feelings and, most importantly, escaping into the world of video games when it all got to be just too much.

The worlds Nintendo created became one of my strongest pillars of support at this time. They became my safe spaces, uninterested in the roundness of my stomach or a number on a scale. And the best part? I was damn good at them. “But look at what I can do,” I’d imagine saying, picturing made-up scenarios where all my bullies would cheer after I cleared Super Smash Bros. Melee’s Classic Mode on the hardest difficulty. So when Wii Fit was first announced, what kid overly concerned about his weight wouldn’t get excited for it? I was good at games, and if what I was capable of in games was anything to go off of, I was soon going to be really good at fitness, too.